What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 11:42
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Google’s Gemini AI will summarize PDFs for you when you open them - The Verge
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I think the readers, may guess!
She wouldn,t have been !
Who is the dumbest law enforcement officer you have ever encountered?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I don,t even have a pension.
Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Why would Hugh Grant cheat on Elizabeth Hurley?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
(And it was in our own minds.)
What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?
I could never make a relationship work though!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
The dogs of Chernobyl may be evolving right before our eyes - Boy Genius Report
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Put me off passion for life!!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He knew the spot.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
At what point did you realize it was the right time to leave your job?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
What would happen if Kakashi and Naruto switched places?
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She loved him until the end.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I will be 64.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Comes on , in middle age.
I was seconnd youngest,
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
All the time i was locked up.
My life is so biszare .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He resisted the act ,that day.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I said to her
I waited trembling.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But ive been too sick for many years..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I was scared of men, in general
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
What did i know ?
This is soul school!.
She was in good health!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was 9 years of age.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Was to survive, this bastard.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
When she asked me how she looked .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
So, i spoilt her more .
She married twice! .
We all went to grammer schools
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My family never makes their pension either.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We were not on the streets..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Im still living with it.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Who then, do I blame.?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She found it foreign!.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
So whats the point in blame.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I write beautiful poetry .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But it wasn’t much.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But, we were locked up after school.
Why did i forgive my father ?
One cannot live in the past .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Especially a lifetime of it.
It was going to be , some day.
I have no regrets .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As i do to all so called friends.?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Ive learnt so much.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Would this be the day?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I was very sick at this time too.
And i lived it daily.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).